sometimes I really like watching TV and falling asleep, too

I feel like my life is turning into the scene in Fight Club, the whole "I felt like I'd been asleep" kind of thing, or the whole intro to American Beauty where Kevin Spacey says jerking off is the high point of his day, or any other number of those other films or novels or songs or TV shows about the mundanity of adult, professional life. I work Monday through Friday, my weekly highlights include watching lots of football on Sunday and sneaking a beer at lunch on Wednesday. Friday has become its own little drug, where at roughly 3:15 on any given one you can trust that I'm feeling pretty good. The rest of the week is spent in anticipation of this rush.

For all the bleekness and depression that others have described it with, I don't find it particularly disheartening. It's just a challenge to myself to make better use of my free time.

In my free time I'm planning things like making movies, watching movies, going to concerts, writing, reading, all this other exciting, cultural stuff, but right now I yet to follow through with many of those plans. I suppose if I was better adjusted, I might be planning on meeting my wife, buying a house, and having those proverbial 2.4 kids, but as of right now that still doesn't interest me. I'm worried my kids, at least in the early stages, wouldn't like my record collection enough for me to respect them.

So in the end I stay at home at listen to my music alone when I'm not at work. It's good music. If the people at my work had any taste and let me play it while I was there, I doubt I'd mind going at all, actually. There's something attractive about just falling asleep for a long time, a nice bedtime soundtrack playing, capable of sleeping in as late as I want -- 30, 40, my retirement, etc. I have always enjoyed a good nap.