Rush Hour 2

Chris Tucker is funny. Jackie Chan is brilliant. Read what I wrote about the original a few posts below and it all applies here. Good movie, probably better than the original. (Although both are pretty good). Best line:

Chris Tucker to Jackie Chan: "Let me introduce you to Carter's new theory of criminal investigation. Follow the rich white man."

Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch's War on Journalism

Is it really news that Fox News is conservative? Well, this movie does a pretty good job of ringing the alarm bell concerning the network. It's kind of fun to watch someone smear the masters of smearing. I kind of wish someone would make a documentary just defaming Bill O'Reilly, though, as his stuff in the movie was some of the funniest. Michael Moore, want to piss off America extra good this time? And can someone make a movie that just flat out calls Christians dumb? I mean, like really mean like? Maybe I have a career ahead of me after all. Here's the line to remember:

Bill O'Reilly to all kinds of people: "SHUT UP!"

The Weather Underground

Hitler, fascism, and genocide are terms commonly thrown about. If you haven't noticed for yourself, it's very popular to compare unpopular things to them. Rarely is such a comparison made with merit, and in a short scene somewhere in the center of this film a man correctly compares the Weathermen to despicable mass murderers, willing to kill indiscriminately because they are morally superior. Although it was only certain fringe thinkers within the group that took it to such extremes, it is a rather obvious extension from this group's line of thinking.

It's hard for this not to devolve into an extended diatribe against the extreme left. Basically, it's difficult when people seemingly sympathetic to your ideas are in fact raging idiots. The unravelling of the SDS in the late '60s is emblematic of everything wrong with contemporary leftist thinking. Seriously, these people might want to take a long hard look in the mirror and ask themselves just how much they have to do with Reagan being elected. Okay, enough from me, let's hear what they had to say about it:

Morally Superior Protester to Press (who might benefit from listening to himself): "If they hadn't dug it before, they better dig it now. They are the enemy."

D.E.B.S.

This movie is rad. Now, before one judges the film on its cheesy packaging and gimmicky premise, please note that the packaging conveniently forgets to mention that the film is really a coming-out story dressed in spy clothing. It's great how the marketers feel this fact will turn people away. The film has to come out itself as you watch it. But seriously, it's rad. Our best line:

Conflicted Heroine to Ex-Boyfriend (talking on walkie talkie): "I told you it's over. Over."

First Daughter

So we've all heard that Tom Cruise acted silly on Oprah, and large amounts of People readers believe that he is shamelessly creating publicity for his summer film by having a fling with Katie Holmes. I have to admit, I'm inclined to agree it's all a fake, because if Tom and Katie were really in love with each other it would mean two terrible things:

1. Katie Holmes is off the market.
2. Even worse, Ms. Holmes is the type of woman that would date a tragically short man twice her age who pretends his last name is a verb meaning to travel smoothly along.

Also, as to the oft-encouraged feminine ruse of getting the attention of the man you are interested in by 'making him jealous,' has there ever been any worse advice? For all the women who have ever attempted to make the object of their affection jealous, to all who have ever considered it, and to all who may consider it in the future: just stop. This is the stupidest plan ever heard. Here's some advice from me: If you want a man's attention, get it by being nice toward him. You know, talk to him, say hello, strike up a conversation, talk directly about the topic you wish to address with him. Sounds crazy, but I'm telling you, it's so crazy it just might work.

And finally, romance films are rather amazing at plugging the fantasies and desires of 13-year-old girls into adult settings. Then again, I'm always left wondering if there aren't adults who watch and empathize with these characters because they, the adult, are trapped in a 13-year-old mindset. That part scares me much worse than any woman attempting to make me jealous, or Katie Holmes marrying Tom Cruise.

Overnight

So to contrast a depressing war movie, I watched a documentary about the real American dream, getting famous for relatively little talent. This is the story of Troy Duffy, a complete maniac who happened upon a writing / directing deal with Miramax. This movie is very, deeply funny. T. Duffy is a maniac, and this movie exposes that. I don't know too much what to say about it, except to move directly into some rather immortal lines:

Maniac Troy to God-Knows-Who on the Telephone: "And the way I think about it is, if I'm a fucking record company, I'm dealing with guys that live out of fucking garages that try and bang strippers to get fucking cheese sandwiches."

Maniac Troy to same telephone: "We have a deep cesspool of creativity here."

Maniac Troy to business partner: "With all due respect Mark, if you agree with this shit, fuck you too."

Maniac Troy re: one-time-opportunites passing you by: "I don't know why I don't think about that, but I don't."

Maniac Troy to Hollywood: "Harvey Weinstein is afraid of me."

This movie is pretty amazing, particularly when contrasted with something serious like Gunner Palace. Some day I hope to become a drunken fuck-up, record all of it for posterity's sake, say fuck more times in 85 min. than I would typically in two years of my life (and I swear a lot), piss off everyone who knows or cares about me, and end up working construction. It's a bold dream, so far only one maniac has been able to pull it off, but I don't see why I can't be the next.

Gunner Palace

This is a documentary about the Iraq war, apparently made by a soldier himself. It attempts to be as apolitical as possible, and appears to achieve that. It's a rather uncommented upon and lightly manipulated document of what it looks like to be a soldier in Baghdad. If you compare it to another famous anti-war documentary, Hearts and Minds, you'll notice a few things missing - most noticeably the shots of Iraqis themselves, particularly the ones being shot in the head, tortured in prisons, or napalmed, etc. The only actual Iraqis given a voice is the translators working with the US Army. Anyway, there's no real joke to make about this film. It's pretty serious, and even without the portrait of the real victims of the war, the Iraqis, there is still a great sense of waste, dread, and fear. This is scary stuff.

Rush Hour

For my money, Jackie Chan is one of the greatest performer's ever to grace the screen. The amount of talent the man possesses is staggering, and I feel that I could watch any Jackie Chan movie ever made. There's not much else to say about this, except that it's a completely passing buddy action flick, with the incredible supplied by Jackie Chan. Here's the best line:

Chris Tucker to FBI agent: "I need one of those earpieces immediately"

a temporary oasis amid movie write-ups

This isn't a movie post, but it needs to be asked: What is a champagne supernova? I have to admit, it sounds rather nice, so where can I find one? And does it feel as good as it sounds? And does the supernova part negate the drunkeness, or heighten it? Is it expensive? How long until all the rappers are showing off fridges full of them? And how many special people change? How many lives are living strange? And where were you while we were getting high? Someday we will find you...

Hackers

Like fine wine, cyber-thrillers are best enjoyed with age. This film taught me many things, which I will list here:

1. Superhackers prefer to wear sunglasses in darkly lit rooms when causing cyber-havoc.
2. Superhackers ride rollerblades, as that is the cool-new-thing that cool-new-people like them would be doing.
3. Superhackers make very questionable wardrobe choices, even give the time they are living in (1995).
4. Hacking is metaphorically very much like rape, with lots of "penetrating" and even "ravaging" occuring, and obviously that's bad.
5. Playing around with computers can get you in boatloads of trouble, therefore it is best to maintain a 10 foot distance from all keyboards and to insure all computers are never connected to a phone line. Otherwise there might be a global ecological disaster and you will be in jail for it, thus eliminating your chance to nail the hot superhacker chick at your school.

But seriously, perhaps the most amazing part of this film is that there are actually more holes in the plot than there are in the representation of technology. I had no idea what was occurring at the end, except the obvious union of boy and girl that any idiot should be able to figure out within 10 minutes of the film commencing.

As I watch these films listed in this blog, I've begun taking notes in a small notebook. I've begun writing down lines, and I'm probably going to begin including at least one from every film. I wrote down more quotes for this film than any other. It's absolutely full of memorable lines, including the infamous "You talking to me?" homage-line TWICE. Anyway, here's some winners:

Mother to Superhacker Son: "Dave, you like girls, don't you?"

Superhacker Villain to Superhacker Son / Prodigy: "I'm the one who understands you. Now, can we be allies?"

Superhacker Babe to Superhacker Prodigy re: hopelessly outdated 'powerful' computer (incl. a 28.8 bps modem): "It's too much machine for you."

Superhacker Villain to Superhacker Prodigy re: how cool hackers are: "We are samurai. The keyboard cowboys."

Thank you, Matt, for the excellent recommendation. Hopefully I will be able to pass the Hackers on to someone else, and we can spread this film's notoriety like a high-art-crushing virus. Oh yeah, I'm also deeply disappointed that the 's' at the end of the title is not a 'z'.

Fighting Elegy

I love it when a director can place social criticism and visual style into a genre piece. It's not often that genre directors are bold enough to make statements. Watching someone work within a genre while subverting it and expanding it at the same time is very impressive to me, and Seijun Suzuki manages that in this film. It's one of those moments where you're left wondering what a creative mind like his might have been able to accomplish with a proper budget and studio support. There remains the strong chance that he might have just gone off the artistic deep end, never to return, but I remain certain that it would be fun to watch. Anyway, this film is a terrific send-up of pre-war Japan, fascism, and male adolescence, and it's terrifically daring for a genre flick.

The Hillz

The major marketing push of this film, and the main reason that I watched it, is Paris Hilton prominently displayed on the cover. Add the horrific blurb on the back and I was completely sold. To begin, Paris Hilton is a terrible actress. With her considerable star power one must wonder why she's slumming it in films like this. I'll tell you why, she's a horrid actress. That said, she still isn't the worst part of the film. It's difficult to pick one single 'worst' part from so many options -- make-up, editing, script, acting, sound, soundtrack, cinematography, directing, set, wardrobe, plot, overt bigotry. If I had to choose just one, it would probably be cinematography, but understand that may change in any given scene. This film looks like a senior thesis from a high school film class, and a failing one at that (even though the boom sighting count ended at a disappointing 2). Thank god this DVD has a director commentary, which I will be watching shortly.

Some memorable dialogue:

Main character to Paris Hilton re: eloping - 'We'd have so much fun. We'd rip shit up.'

Main character following the murder of friend by friend for no reason - 'Dude that [pause while pointing w/ finger to emphasize importance] that's totally uncalled for.'

Tarnation

America is a bizarrely narcissistic culture. This film is self-exploitative and I felt ashamed at numerous points during it for watching the personal moments that I was watching. I'm not certain if that's more reflective of my mania or that of the filmmaker's -- my desire to avoid the intimate moments, or his determination to bear them in uncharacteristically long takes. It is rather obvious that this determination to 'capture' experiences so you can replay them is somewhat unique. Given that I just watched Capturing the Friedmans, which, like this film, has an unremarked-upon sub-theme of the individual's need to record all their experiences possible, it is a theme which I feel needs some more commentary. I'm thinking of a name, I'm pretty certain it's Heisenberg. Either way, it is still a documentary film, and as such is infinitely more compelling than your average fiction film.

13 Going On 30

This movie forwards the unsettling, yet apparently all-to-true phenomena where most Americans just want to return to high school. Images of idyllic innocence and purity of heart and mind will always find an audience in America. I rarely remember being 13, because to do so is to recall mountains of unpleasant feelings. There is also the strong, and all too tired implication that certain moments in life (such as a 13th birthday) are so pivotal and important that will permanently alter our paths in life. I find this implication to be pure hooey. That being said, Mark Ruffalo is easy to watch, and my rather blinding prejudice toward Jennifer Garner was rather relaxed toward the end of the film. I've seen plenty worse romantic comedies than this.

Capturing the Friedmans

Seeing that I'm currently very tired, this post will be very short. This film is a fantastic documentary. It creates ambiguity, uncertainty, and doubt in the mind of the viewer about the story presented, like all good documentaries should. There are no easy answers, and the viewer is left to resolve different issues on their own, without the filmmaker clubbing them over the head with 'what to think.'

xx/xy

This is an Austin Chick film, and by that I mean the writer/director's name is actually Austin Chick. That's very funny to me. The rest of the film, it should be pointed out, contains little humor. What it does contain is a lot of good acting, good dialogue, and engaging characters. It should be noted that females in Texas may be good at screenwriting and direction, their skill in cinematography leaves something to be lacking. It's a little disappointing that an otherwise good film looks so bad. Finally, this film is concrete evidence that Mark Ruffalo is not only a considerably better actor than me, but infinitely sexier, and I would be hard-pressed to fault any woman that left me for him.

Gangs of New York

Must I point out that Martin Scorsese is a great director? I feel I must also point out that the closing musical cue is one of the worst I can think of. But around the center of the film, there is a long take where the camera moves with Irish immigrants pouring out of the boat from the Atlantic, into a US Army conscription line, then finally moving onto the boat which will ship the new Army privates onto the front, finally revealing the coffins of those already departed being lifted back onto the dock. For this shot alone, I reckon the film is brilliant.

The Corporation

Although this film's bias is a little naked, and I can't say that it looks particularly good with everything hanging out like it is, it still manages to make some effective points. It is a little long, and I've stayed up later than I intended watching it. Arcata makes an appearance, although I can't say that makes me proud. Some of the most interesting interviews are provided by current or former CEOs of major corporations. At this point, I feel that I know most of what the lefties are going to say, and I'm much more interested in the portrait of the rich and powerful. Also, I once watched the film Fahrenhype 9/11 which was particularly stupid, powerfully underscored by the fact that the filmmakers interviewed Ann Coulter on numerous occasions in the movie, as if she was an authority on anything besides acting like the stupidest person in the whole world for all the public to see. Seeing that The Corporation spent considerable time with Michael Moore, I wonder if they have made the same mistake. But then that's not fair, no matter how you feel about Moore, because it's abundantly clear that no mediea figure is as stupid as Ann Coulter.

Undertow

David Gordon Green is, with little doubt in my mind, one of the great directors working today. The man is an auteur, and his third film confirms this. For those of you who know me, and have wondered about my somewhat perverse interest in the South, I would recommend viewing his films when trying to understand my mania. Perhaps it is shallow of me to admit, but it is definitely his films which have helped create a certain image of the South which appeals to me. Perhaps if he made a movie set in Arcata, I would be excited to go back there. But then, who's kidding who, I already said he's a great director, so why would he film in Arcata?

Team America

I actually watched this while I was playing Mario Golf, but I can't say it deserved much more attention. My friend put picture-in-picture on his TV so we could play games and watch this movie at the same time. Quite an invention, if I may say. Overall I found the content offensive, and I'm glad I had the video game to play while the movie drove its not-so-funny jokes into the ground. I could count the number of genuinely funny moments on one hand (did we really need to wait this long to make fun of Pearl Harbor?), and if you ever want me to recount them for you so you can skip the film, just ask.

Appleseed

I'm a fan of completely CG movies (and not really a fan of the 90% CG, 10% bad acting movies like the new Star Wars). I figure that over time they will be able to remove many of the physical limitations that traditional film process places upon the creativity of a filmmaker. As such, I'll watch any 100% CGI, like Appleseed.

The film begins directly w/ a large action sequence and extremely little context. The first thing I notice is that my feet are cold, and that I need to put on socks. Having finished the film, I realize the socks were a good decision, and I still have no idea for the context of the opening battle sequence. Seeing as Appleseed is a Japanese film which wouldn't shy away from adult content, I was kind of holding out hope for seeing my first CG sex sequence. I'll spoil it for you now and say there is no sex scene, but lots of CG cleavage nonetheless. The plot is distilling a lengthy manga series, so it spends large amounts of the film cramming background information in. The main theme appears to be evolution, which is something Masamune Shirow shows interest in his other works as well. There is a robot that can't understand love.

Overall I can only really recommend it to people who like CG movies, giant robots, and Japanese animation. I suppose I can combine those interests into one simple category - nerd. So I'll say it more concisely: if you're a nerd, you should probably see this movie.

I don't live here anymore

I've decided, at least for the summer, to give my blog a purpose. I will now use this as my movie watching journal, adding a short entry for every film I manage to watch this summer. I'm hoping that we can hit something like 100 when it's all said and done. Here are a few films I remember already watching this summer, and a quick impression:

Traffic: Of course I've seen it before, but I watched it again late at night and realized that I love this film. Very much. Cutting social commentary which manages to appear non-judgemental along with a good dose of plain-old human drama. Some of the best cinematography you will ever see. I decided that its place in my Top 5 Favorite Films of All Time is extremely secure.

Hoop Dreams: I watched this for the first time and realized its one of the best documentaries - no, films - I have ever seen. It's brilliant. Again, social commentary with a strong dose of drama (particularly for a documentary) and you have another solid entry into the Top 5.

Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events: Did you realize that these books were written by the bassist for the Magnetic Fields? I didn't. The movie was pretty good, with lots of atmosphere and a strong, funny performance by Jim Carrey. (And I hope we all realize that this is not typically something I would say about our friend Jim). A decent film and a fine way to kill 90 minutes.

We Don't Live Here Anymore: Basically this film is what Closer wishes it was. The content might be more engaging if you are married, but it's still a strong drama for the single and childless among us as well. The acting is noticeably strong, with everyone's favorite hunk Mark Ruffalo being very conflicted and sullen and passionate and hunky in general. I've found that I generally like films with a small cast and a simple, personal story, and this one fits that bill.

So there, I hope to continue this for all the films I watch this summer.

fun reading that's not mine

I don't have much to write, just some fun links I've found. This officially marks my slide into being the author of an absolutely bland and redundant blog, what with the infrequent posts and shoddy quality. Anyway, both of these are pretty funny.

The Star Wars Episode III that I want to see

Turns out Right-wingers are fucking idiots

Soon I might post something of merit.